"Sometimes I would like to ask God, why He allows poverty, famine, and injustice in the world when He could do something about it... but I'm afraid He might ask me the same question." Anonymous

Monday, March 28, 2011

9 Step Process Before Adopting per Laura...

Sharing a fellow adoptive Momma's Blog post...it is so true to our adoption experience as well.
To follow their Blog go to:
www.bryanandlauraadoption.blogspot.com

By the way...if any of you are on-the-fence concerning adopting...come on over...it's a beautiful view!


From Laura:
Recently, on facebook, I read a hysterical, very true list....a 10 step process to go through before becoming a parent. I thought I'd do a 9 step process you should consider before adopting;) Obviously, if the Lord has told you to adopt.....skip to number 9....but beware, there is strong likelihood you will make your way through steps 1-8 in the process;)

1. Just go ahead and do it..... Buy a new pair of jeans that is. 1-2 sizes up...heck, if you want...might as well just go for the stretch pants (just under NO circumstances, may they be stirrup pants. They were NOT cool 20 years ago and are still NOT.COOL). Pregnancy hormones cause crazy eating (well for me they did anyway)...and well....stress produces hormone too....and stress (many times)=eating...I'm just sayin'. Now is NOT the time to try to cut out anything (coffee, chocolate, sweets, coffee, caffeine...get it?). I swear, I have gained 10lbs with each adoption! (yea, yea..unless you've walked this road...please save your speeches of how I could have more self control, learn to go straight to Jesus in my time of stress.....i'm a work in progress;). Then you get your child home...and you're up all night (tiredness=need for more sweets), can't go to the gym cause you're trying to attach to your new bundle...yadda...yadda...and (most of the time) not nursing....SO just go ahead and buy some jeans!

2. Get to know your mailman...real well. Ask about his/her family, hobbies, birthweight.....the usual. So when you feel the need (at many different times in this process) to w.a.i.t at your mailbox for the mail to come, or run out there like a crazy woman...day after day...it will seem a "natural" part of your new "friendship". It won't look so much like stalking.

3. Get yourself some GOOD friends. People who will drive out, in the middle of a snowstorm to help you notarize that last minute document. A few requirements for your friends: (an interview might suffice...just to make sure;) ~They must love you in your worst ~They MUST love the Lord (one with a direct line to HIM would be good;) ~Someone who can be solid, when you are wavering and thinking of all sorts of crazy ideas ~Someone who loves you enough to speak TRUTH to you ~Someone who hears your heart, and KNOWS you are so desperate to obey the Lord and follow well...that they will understand when you call 3 different times in a week, thinking you should pursue________ (3 different things/situations)

4. Maybe buy some flowers/chocolates for the Doctors office staff. So that when you are there (for the 9th time...no joke), with all 4 of your children.....waiting an hour and a half to actually see the dr....for the paperwork that is missing a dot on an 'i'.....they won't think you're crazy (and if they do, they will be too busy eating some yummy chocolates to notice that your smile has faded... & turned into a scowl)

5. Put a certain imm*igration department's phone number on speed-dial. Be prepared to call..leave a message..then hit re-dial. Repeat 10 times each morning and afternoon. Then when you talk with someone, they will not have any info for you..only then requiring more calling and more emails.

6. Just go ahead and get a fancy plan on your cell phone. You know the kind that is like a "data package"...so you have easy access to receive emails (yes, there are some of us who still don't have that....we have cheap frugal husbands who say "uh..no"...Hey, I am just lucky to have a texting plan now;) You see, if you could just get a cute little beep when an email comes in...it would save hours..errr..uh..some time that is currently being spent hitting refresh on you inbox..all.day.long

7. Another thing to buy (stock in, that is)....Kleenex. Let's just say that this emotional roller coaster is mostly comprised of the emotion: All-out-can't-control-yourself-crying(for many reasons I might add...some legit, i-can-see-why-I'd-cry and some....totally out of left field...like the commercial for (anything really) sets the bawling in motion) 'Nuff said.

8. If you own a pretty little "planner"....burn it. All of your ideas, thoughts, plans, parenting ideas (as some of us "baby*wise" parents have)....burn them. Nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing...will go as "planned". Period. Not in the process (your ideas of what you are 'suppose to do', or the paperwork, or the wait, nothin') and not when you are parenting a child with any kind of traumatic past. And (as hard as it is to say this, especially right now)....your relationship with the Lord will be so, so sweet because of it! I have never, ever been so desperate to hear from HIM, to follow HIM! Attempting to let go of everything else that I had thought" or I had planned. Which leads me to my final step....

9. Be prepared for the most amazing transformation in your heart and life as you follow where HE leads! You will be broken into a million (or gazillion) pieces....you will feel like you just can't go on.....you will feel so frustrated, so angry, so sad, so mad, irritated, so helpless.....and you come quick to realize a great truth (that will be playing loud and clear...over and over as you are in the valley): God is in complete control...you are not! He WILL work it out (even when you have NO idea how-and sometimes not in the way you think HE should); He IS trustworthy; HE is GOOD; His ways are far above our ways; He LOVES your child more then you do and most importantly.....HE HAS GOT THIS! You've got to believe this....with everything....or you won't make it. Seriously. It is just waayyy too hard to deal with on your own, in your own strength. It will create a need and such deep desire for HIM. Because only in His arms will you find rest and peace. Laura


Love you friends,
Angi & Tim

2 comments:

  1. I agree with all points! Especially the one about having GOOD friends!

    ReplyDelete

Current time in Ethiopia

Addis Ababa

Adoption Time-line

02/02/10- Ethiopia adoption application & fee sent.





02/17/10- Accepted into America Worlds Ethiopia Program!





02/20/10- Paid initial AWAA program fee.





Start paper chase...



03/02/10- Ordered our birth certificates.



03/02/10- Spoke w/and chose GLAD as Home-Study Agency.



03/03/10- Got Angi's employeement & life ins. verification.



03/04/10- Received Tim's birth cert. in mail.



03/04/10- Went to courthouse, got Marriage Cert.



03/05/10- Received Angi's birth cert. in mail.



03/05/10- Scheduled Tim's phys. letter doctor appt.for 3/8



03/08/10- Mailed GLAD application letter & fee.



03/10/10- Ethiopia made big change- 2 trips required now.



03/11/10- Rec'd GLAD/AWAA Post Placement Agreement.



03/11/10- Rec'd Tim's Health/Life Ins. letter.



03/12/10- Jack & Annie rabie shots/Home Study Requirment

03/13/10- Rosie & Sara rabie shots.



03/21/10- Began Hague on-line required training course.



03/22/10- GLAD beginning our background checks.



03/22/10- Our HIV tests and Tim's HEP B blood draw done.



03/23/10- Tim's TB Test scheduled for 3/30/10.



03/25/10- Notary notarized all paperwork we've collected.



03/26/10- Kyla, our social work came for 1st & 2nd home visi



03/26/10- Adoption Tax Credit raised to$13,100.00! Go God!



03/27/10- Kyla finished 3rd Home Study visit.



03/27/10- Finished family photo pages.



03/30/10- Tim rescheduled TB Test until 4/6/10.



03/31/10- Picked up Tim's HEP B test results.



04/02/10- Received Archie's referance letter.



04/06/10- Tim had TB test placed.



04/06/10- Angi got bloodwork records.



04/06/10- Re-did Financial Statement/faxed to AWAA.



04/09/10- Tim's TB test results- negative :)



04/10/10- Completed Hague On-line training course.



04/10/10- Dog vaccines done.



04/20/10- Faxed Florida CPS request to FL today.



05/03/10- Had our physical visits today.



05/26/10- Angi's bloodwork drawn.



05/28/10- Angi's bloodwork result- normal.



05/28/10- Tim's bloodwork drawn & normal result.



06/01/10- Our 14th Annivesary- Renee notarized physicals!



06/07/10- Picked up our physicals & faxed to GLAD/AWAA.



06/07/10- Found out GLAD rec'd FL CPS checks 6/4/10.



06/07/10- Requested Dr. letter for Angi.



06/10/10- Picked up & faxed Dr. letter to AWAA.



06/10/10- Waiting for AWAA to approve Home Study.



06/15/10- AWAA read Home Study & requested corrections.



06/23/10- GLAD corrected and sent H.S. back to AWAA.



06/24/10- AWAA approved our Home Study!



07/01/10- Got money order for final GLAD payment.



07/01/10- Met Klya/GLAD in Vincennes, got final HomeStdy



07/02/10- Mailed I-600A application & fee.



07/09/10- Renee notarized rest of Dossier paperwork.



07/09/10- Sent 2 papers to IN State Dept.for Authentication



07/12/10- Fed-Ex package received at IN State Dept.



07/13/10- We rec'd Authenticated papers in mail!



07/14/10- Rec'd Immigration Fingerprinting appt for 8/9/10



07/23/10- Went early-Immigration/Indy. for fingerprinting.



07/26/10- Called USCIS & left msg for Immigration Officer.



07/29/10- Officer Opfer called, USCIS back-logged 3 weeks.



08/05/10- Rec'd I-171H today!Thanks Officer Opfer-speedy



08/06/10- Renee notarized new MOWA letter & I-171H.



08/06/10- Got Cashier's check to go with Dossier.



Paper chase completed!





08/06/10- Shipped Dossier to AWAA by Fed-Ex.



08/10/10- AWAA received Dossier packet.



08/13/10- AWAA approved Dossier, maybe DTE next Fri?



08/13/10- Rec'd U.S.State letter stating I-600A sent to ET!



08/19/10- AWAA Fed-Ex'd our Dossier to Ethiopia!



08/25/10- Dossier arrived in Ethiopia today!









The WAIT begins...